Thursday, June 12, 2014

A Love Story



In May, I participated in Panache DeSai’s 33 day program online with his new book - “Discovering Your Soul Signature.”  One thing about doing spiritual work, anything that needs to be released comes up.  In my case, deep childhood emotional wounds of rejection and abandonment came to the surface once again.

Those feelings started with being adopted at 2 1/2. My new Mother told me over and over again as I was growing up that I wasn't wanted, that my birth mother had rejected me from the day I was born, and was always trying to find a way to get rid of me.  Then on a recent Saturday afternoon I got a big envelope in the mail from my brother. He had found something in my late Father’s things he thought I might want. He sent me the file from my adoption. 
In the file were various legal briefs and as I turned the pages I discovered three letters from my birth mother to my new father. She wrote about her hesitation to sign the adoption papers, (It took her 9 months) how hard it was to let go, and her love of me in each one of them.  She wrote that even though her heart was breaking, she believed the adoption would be for the best.   
My first thought was "I've been living a lie all these years!"   I HAD been wanted and loved.  I wasn’t rejected or abandoned!
Something shifted at the very core of my being. I haven't totally groked what's happened, nor can I explain it, but I know it's good.  I feel lighter in many ways.

I also realized once again, that life really is a series of stories. We begin writing them as little children based on what others say and how we feel about it. We really are the writer, the actor, the director and the producers of our reality.  As we write, the Universe constantly rearranges Itself to fit our picture of reality.  We get to live our original stories over and over again. In fact we add to those stories daily. 

I started to think about the stories I am telling myself now.  Are they positive and uplifting?  Are they stories of love and wonder and delight in life?  They’d better be! These stories are creating my future.   

How about you?  Your stories are creating your future as well.  If you want to know what your stories are, look around and listen to your self talk.  That ongoing dialogue and its accompanying feelings are a vibration that sets the Law of Attraction in action. As the writer, the director, the actor, and the producer, you have a built in rewrite option that can be used at any time. 

Each of our stories is adding to the collective consciousness of humanity.  Our rewrite option is so important now.  Thank God we’re such creative beings!   Join me in writing the greatest Love Story ever.

AFFIRMATIVE PRAYER


God is Love.  God being omnipresent means Love is absolutely everywhere, therefore. Love is what I am made of and who I am. As I know this for myself, I know it for everyone.  There is nothing but Love.

I am open to feeling all of my feelings and letting them move through me with ease and grace. I am open to the mysteries and wonder of our world. I have turned the page and started a new chapter. I honor my old stories and joyfully write new ones that reflect the beauty and Love of all Life.

With a light heart, a clear head and a pure heart, I gratefully release these words to Divine Law, knowing they have been lovingly embodied and have uplifted my whole being!    And so it is.

2 comments:

parchmentcadenza.com said...

Angelica, stopping by from Lacy's Sacred Journey site and found this post. It is so beautiful! Your story of abandonment resonates with me, as my father voluntarily stepped out of my life at 13 years old. "We really are the writer... of our reality... listen to your self talk." Things I always need to hear! I will be saving your beautiful affirmative prayer. Thanks for your words! -Leslie

Angelica said...

Thank you Leslie! Blessings to you for reading and taking the time to commment.
Angelica