'Ike aku, 'ike mai, kokua aku kokua mai; pela iho la ka nohana 'ohana.
(Recognize others, be recognized, help others, be helped; such is a family relationship.)
When I read this Hawaiian proverb recently, a memory flashed into my mind.
I was outside, enjoying my rosebushes in my Hawaiian garden. The phone rang, I rushed into the house to answer it. It was my Mother. She started berating me because I hadn't contacted her recently. The conversation ended abruptly and I fretted about it for quite awhile. I had instantly turned into an 11 year old, feeling shamed and guilty and tried to defend myself.
The holidays are family time - and some of you, like me, had an "interesting" childhood. Perhaps some of you even wanted to divorce yourselves from the whole 'family' scene, as I did by running away at age 16. Yet even though I was in my 30's during the above memory, I still was attached by family ties. Those ties were labeled "should" and every year while my parents were alive, I wrestled with the idea that I 'should' go visit them. I wasn't brave enough not to go, yet I dreaded it and the holidays always turned out terrible.
(When I moved to Hawai'i, I had a wonderful excuse -- I was too far away! I created my family of choice and started looking forward to the holidays.)
Now that I'm more spiritually mature, I realize I was perpetuating the holiday crazies with my family because I expected them to be a certain way. The Universe only says Yes - so of course, I got to experience what I was expecting. Dr. Holmes wrote in the Science of Mind - "Principle is not bound by precedent." which means that just because something always happened a certain way before, it doesn't mean it has to happen that way again. If my parents were alive today, I might join them for the holidays, and I would do it as an adult. I would recognize them, allow them to recognize me. I would help them, and let them help me. I would be totally present, with a different consciousness - the consciousness that recognized them as unique, individualized expressions of The One. We would have a much different family relationship than we'd had in the past.
I can't do that physically anymore -- but I certainly can do it in my mind! Can you? Sometimes family time means accepting them just they way they are and loving them anyway - loving The Divine within them.
This year let your family ties be ones labeled 'Love.'
SPIRITUAL MIND TREATMENT
God is love, absolute calm, and harmony in all things. This is my Truth. God is everywhere present - so love, peace and harmony are within me as well. There is That Within Me that reminds me of this at every moment.
As I move through my holidays, interacting with family, friends and co-workers, I remember. Just because something was uncomfortable in the past, doesn't mean it has to be that way again. I declare right now, that I remember that I am the one that brings the consciousness I want to experience with me - no matter where I go or who I am with.
This year I choose to experience the Love that this season is really about. I choose to recognize the Christ in all life. As I do so, It is recognized in me. I allow myself to be of service this season, and to let myself be served. I am comfortable with my family of birth, my family of choice, and my global family. I remember we are All One.
With a grateful heart I release these words into the Law of Mind, rejoicing in their embodiment!
And so it is.