My last Friday Message from Baltimore ..
Ok, it’s Saturday – my laptop is set up on a TV tray. I am surrounded
by boxes and paper and bits and pieces that didn’t go on the truck
yesterday. It started out as a sad morning as I found myself making
food for 3 cats when I now only have two. Beautiful Bella is gone.
As I said my final goodbye to Bella, I also got a very clear
realization that this was the end of Baltimore. She came into my life
just a few months after I got here, and she left just as I am. Bella’s
passing helped me to cry, not only for her, but for everyone that I
already miss. Her final gift to me was helping me express my sadness
for the leaving the life I had created here.
Yet, even in the sadness the sun is shining, and cool air is coming
through the screen door. Romy is playing in the packing paper pile
making me laugh. My coffee tastes very good. The whirl-a-wind of
sorting, packing, cleaning, making arrangements for my new life is
winding down. A lot of love has been shared in the past couple of
weeks, and I’ve gotten awesome confirmations that I’ve made a difference
Thirty years ago, my teacher, Rev. Helen Street, and my practitioner
classmates were sitting in a restaurant after class. As usual, our
class conversations continued. Helen was sharing a bit of Emma Curtis
Hopkins’ teaching that said something about our true name being
emblazoned across our foreheads. She asked us what ours was. The first
word that popped into my mind was TRUST. I remember her clapping,
laughing and saying she could see it.
At a deeper level ‘trusting’ means surrendering. I had to let go of my
stories, feelings, possessions, people, and my ideas of how I believed
life should be.
I decided to create a new ‘word’ for this time period. I chose
Beloved. OMG! What an amazing experience I’ve had. From getting a
part time job and learning to live with a very small income, flying
across the country to interview with the Eureka Center, finding out that
my birth mother loved me which changed everything I thought I knew
about my birth story … and that she had lived in Eureka when I was with
her, to getting accepted as the new pastor of the Eureka Center and
realizing I was making plans to go home! WOW! What an amazing
adventure! And it’s not over yet!
All because, in the face of seeming challenges, I Trusted and moved into
the consciousness of The Beloved. The past seven months have proven
that the Science of Mind really works and taken me even further into the
Religion of the Heart. I am so grateful!
Where in your life do you need to Trust more? Just do it – you’ll be amazed.
I’m leaving Monday to drive across country with my cats. If you’ve
felt inspired by my messages and would like to add to my Travel Fund,
please use my PayPal account – firstname.lastname@example.org. My car, cats and I thank you!
I open my heart and my mind to trust the Infinite Intelligence that is
this universe. This Infinite Intelligence is in the Great Heart and so
am I. We are all part of the One.
I now declare I have the consciousness of Trusting. I let go of my
stories of fear, lack and limitation, in my physical being, my way of
working in the world, my relationships and my finances. The Universe
already knows what I desire – so I get out of Loves way and let it do
Its work. I surrender to my greater good.
I celebrate - I am grateful for everything. I release these words knowing they are so, and so it is.
Thursday, June 12, 2014
In May, I participated in Panache DeSai’s 33 day program online with his new book - “Discovering Your Soul Signature.” One thing about doing spiritual work, anything that needs to be released comes up. In my case, deep childhood emotional wounds of rejection and abandonment came to the surface once again.
Those feelings started with being adopted at 2 1/2. My new Mother told me over and over again as I was growing up that I wasn't wanted, that my birth mother had rejected me from the day I was born, and was always trying to find a way to get rid of me. Then on a recent Saturday afternoon I got a big envelope in the mail from my brother. He had found something in my late Father’s things he thought I might want. He sent me the file from my adoption.
In the file were various legal briefs and as I turned the pages I discovered three letters from my birth mother to my new father. She wrote about her hesitation to sign the adoption papers, (It took her 9 months) how hard it was to let go, and her love of me in each one of them. She wrote that even though her heart was breaking, she believed the adoption would be for the best.
My first thought was "I've been living a lie all these years!" I HAD been wanted and loved. I wasn’t rejected or abandoned!
My first thought was "I've been living a lie all these years!" I HAD been wanted and loved. I wasn’t rejected or abandoned!
Something shifted at the very core of my being. I haven't totally groked what's happened, nor can I explain it, but I know it's good. I feel lighter in many ways.
I also realized once again, that life really is a series of stories. We begin writing them as little children based on what others say and how we feel about it. We really are the writer, the actor, the director and the producers of our reality. As we write, the Universe constantly rearranges Itself to fit our picture of reality. We get to live our original stories over and over again. In fact we add to those stories daily.
I started to think about the stories I am telling myself now. Are they positive and uplifting? Are they stories of love and wonder and delight in life? They’d better be! These stories are creating my future.
How about you? Your stories are creating your future as well. If you want to know what your stories are, look around and listen to your self talk. That ongoing dialogue and its accompanying feelings are a vibration that sets the Law of Attraction in action. As the writer, the director, the actor, and the producer, you have a built in rewrite option that can be used at any time.
Each of our stories is adding to the collective consciousness of humanity. Our rewrite option is so important now. Thank God we’re such creative beings! Join me in writing the greatest Love Story ever.
God is Love. God being omnipresent means Love is absolutely everywhere, therefore. Love is what I am made of and who I am. As I know this for myself, I know it for everyone. There is nothing but Love.
I am open to feeling all of my feelings and letting them move through me with ease and grace. I am open to the mysteries and wonder of our world. I have turned the page and started a new chapter. I honor my old stories and joyfully write new ones that reflect the beauty and Love of all Life.
With a light heart, a clear head and a pure heart, I gratefully release these words to Divine Law, knowing they have been lovingly embodied and have uplifted my whole being! And so it is.
Friday, April 25, 2014
I had been trying to listen to SLRN (Spiritual Living Radio Network) and was getting very frustrated with my laptop -- suddenly the sound wouldn't work! Even though it was turned all the way up, I could only hear a faint bit. I checked Windows help, Mozilla help and Sony VAIO help, and nothing they suggested worked, so figured I'd have to take it to the computer repair shop for a new speaker. I started thinking anxiously about time and money. I shut the computer off and went out to rake up magnolia blossoms. How delightful it was to be outside. When I came back I clicked on a video in FB, having forgotten about the sound problem. Again I could only hear a faint sound. I had read in the VAIO manual that the speaker was on the right side so I leaned over to try to hear it better. To my surprise the sound was coming from my earphones! I unplugged them and almost got blasted out of my chair! I felt foolish for not noticing that before!
I had purchased the books for my book circle and not everyone was at the next meeting to pick up their books. I set them aside so they could pick them up at the next meeting. That week came, and still one person hadn’t gotten their book. The next week they arrived happy to pick it up, but I couldn’t find it. I looked all over my table, which is also my desk, and it was gone. I thought someone might have picked it up by accident, and asked everyone to check at home. How foolish I felt the other day when I took some papers off my printer to use it, and discovered the ‘missing’ book.
If these things had happened before I found the Science of Mind, I might have done an “I’m so foolish” spiral, and been embarrassed. Because of my age, I might have gone into a story about “Oh no! my mind is going!” Instead, I felt foolish for a moment and then started laughing. How creative I was to make up the stories I did about the two experiences! How grateful I am both were both resolved easily.
I did ask myself: “What else am I missing? What else have I made up a story about, and then accepted that story as real?” How about you?
The Spirit within me is all knowing and unconditionally loving. It is everywhere present. It fills me with a conscious awareness of my place in this world.
I now declare that it is my intention to pay more attention. I am now more consciously aware of not only my surroundings, but the stories I am telling myself about them. I remember the Truth – all there is, is God. God is not foolish. God cannot get lost. God is the energy of Love. I choose to experience and express even more Love than I ever have before. This is my new story and it is a good one!
Gratefully I release these words into the Law of Mind, knowing they have been easily embodied.
And so it is.
Friday, April 11, 2014
My life changed drastically this winter. I was working and loving what I was doing, and the next moment wasn’t working and feeling a deep sense of loss. A friend’s sister had written a blog titled “Nothing Prepared Me for This.” And that’s the Truth. Nothing in my life prepared me for what I was experiencing. I felt like I was walking through a thick fog, doing what was in front of me to do, stranded alone except for a couple of friends, (thank God for them!) The ease and joy of life was gone. I was full of self- doubt about my abilities and unsure as to whether my vocation was still viable. I didn’t know what I would do. I felt lost, abandoned, even shunned.
I allowed myself to really feel the confusion, disappointment and sadness. At the same time I was feeling grateful to have this teaching as my foundation. I knew how to take responsibility for my experience. Not responsibility for what others said or did, but responsibility for my actions and reactions. I remembered I could count on Spiritual Law, and trust that powerful, Loving Presence within me. After a few weeks, I started to feel alive again, and with the coming of Spring, even more so. A part-time job came about quite synchronistically and my pet sitting business started to grow again.
I started receiving invitations to be a guest speaker at various Centers, and with each opportunity, I again realized my passion is still the ministry. I have no doubts about my vocation. I sent out candidating packages to 4 Centers needing a Spiritual Leader. I know the Universe is leading me to the right and perfect place for me and all concerned.
Sure, there are times I get fearful, like when my bills aren’t being paid so I can pay the rent, but I also know this is temporary. I KNOW I can trust the Law of Mind to honor my dominant thoughts and feelings, so I stay centered in Peace and Love. I’ve also realized that living in the “groundlessness of being” as Pema Chrodin calls it, is not a bad place to be!
No, nothing prepares us for sudden changes, however, maintaining our daily spiritual practices during the good times helps us stay centered and trusting during our challenges. Everything always works out perfectly, for the highest and best for all!
There is that within me that is infinitely intelligent and unconditionally loving. I know this Presence as God – a Divine Energy that is the Source and substance of all things. How grateful I am to constantly remember this.
I now declare into the Law of Mind for myself and all else who are experiencing challenges of any kind, that we KNOW we can change our minds right now and effect change. I declare that Life is providing us with an abundance of trust, self-confidence and inner peace, and we are open to receiving it. We move through our challenges with ease and grace. We have a deep understanding of their message. Divine Mind is assisting us in attaining and maintaining the consciousness of the life we desire to live, and it feels good.
I am grateful to facilitate change. I am grateful to know the Truth of our being. God in us, as us, is doing Great Work.
I release these words into the Law of Mind, knowing they’ve been embodied and we are living from a Higher Truth And so it is.
Tuesday, March 04, 2014
I saw a picture of a roller coaster the other day and realized that’s what my life has been like lately. I got on it just before the holidays and the ride’s not over yet. Not really the pattern I wanted to set for 2014, but we do what’s in front of us, eh? It’s Rev. Angelica’s Wild Ride.
Now, I’ve never been a big fan of roller coasters. I normally avoid them, yet once one gets on, it’s got to be ridden to the finish.
As usual, I’m working on being in the moment and being observant. When the ride is climbing up I can breathe –when it’s heading down and accelerating, it’s scary. I’ve noticed that when I’m afraid it’s because I feel like I’m out of control.
I know I’m not the only one having this experience. I decided to look up “fear of roller coasters.” As I perused the various articles, I came up with these points to help us:
1. Make sure you’re not thinking that someone else has pressured you into being on this ride – this will only add to the feeling of not being in control. I know I attracted this ride – maybe I don’t know why I did, but I will.
2. Remember to breathe. Breathing helps me center myself.
3. Let yourself feel the ride. Some of my feelings have been various types of loss, anger, sadness, and feeling ‘not enough’. They all come down to fear. Feel the fear, knowing it’s part of the process and it’s temporary.
4. During the ride, scream. It’s important to express your feelings. Thinking your feelings are negative and covering them by being positive doesn’t make the feelings go away. It just buries them. Feelings buried decompose. Talk to someone or journal.
5. Outsmart the "scare factor." Remember that the loops and sudden drops are part of the ride and are perfectly safe. Think of the car you’re sitting in as The Divine. Remember my fear of the ride heading down and speeding up? Someone once told me not to look down – to tilt my head back and look up. In fact, look up and smile!
6. When you’re in overwhelm, close your eyes. Go within. Pray, meditate, chant – do whatever you do to become centered again.
7. Sit in the front car – face it, feel it, and the ride will be over quicker!
The musician Sting said: “Crisis is essential to creativity; it’s what makes you do things you couldn’t do before. Being in a stable situation (might produce)… nicely balanced work – but not the really good stuff. The really good stuff comes from pain, not comfort. Pain is essential. If you have not got pain, then you had better go out and get some.”
With what I’ve written, you might think my life’s been terrible, but it hasn’t. Most of the time, I am filled with a deep peace. I'm having fun living in the gap between what I know and what I don't. I do Know everything is working out for my highest and best good - and it will for you too. God’s got our back. I also Know this: When things seem like they’ve broken down, the Truth is, they’ve broken through!
We live in a Field of infinite potentiality. This Field is the Energy of God. It is the Source and substance of all there is. It is everywhere present. It is all power. It is all intelligence. It resides in and works through us at every moment. This is the Truth.
Regardless of appearances, regardless of how I feel, I remember this Truth at a deep soul level. I lean on this Truth. I know God’s got my back. This Field I am calling God, is working through my thoughts and feelings, attracting to me that which I am focusing on. I refuse to dwell in fear. I continually choose to think on things that are good, things that are pleasing to my mind and heart, things that nourish my soul.
The roller coaster of Life is now a fun and exciting ride, one that will add many wonderful stories to my collection. God is good. Life is good. All is well.
Gratefully I celebrate knowing God in me, as me, is living a wonderful life.
I release these words into the Law of Mind, feeling them sink deep into my subject mind with ease. And so it is.
Friday, December 27, 2013
The day before Christmas I was making scalloped potatoes using a mandolin slicer. I sliced my finger. Just a tiny cut that bled profusely, (not into the potatoes), that I took care of with medicine and a Band-Aid. I felt like I had to be very careful and protective so it wouldn’t hurt again.
Life is like this. Something hurts me emotionally, and I try to protect myself. I try to protect myself by resisting what is, blaming, or making new rules. For instance, I wanted my finger to heal instantly, I blamed myself for not using the mandolin correctly, and for a short time, I decided to never use the mandolin slicer again.
I also want to tell the story, and I want a listener to feel sorry for me or agree with me. In the past, I might have told people “Look I sliced my finger!” and if I didn’t get what I needed I’d tell someone else, and with each telling the story would get bigger – “Look I almost sliced my finger off!”
Four days later I’ve forgotten that tiny cut unless I’m doing something that involves the sliced finger. Then it hurts.
Life is like that as well. I think I’m resolving whatever it was, then something comes up that brings everything back in my face again.
This cut is helping me understand the Buddhist concept of ‘being with what is.” At the moment of the pain, I can’t resist it, I can only breathe through it, knowing that everything is temporary. My body is self-repairing. When I don’t resist, I don’t blame or make new rules or keep telling the story.
As a metaphysician, what do I do while “being with what is?” Dr. Holmes writes in the Science of Mind “A thought of Love is always healing… “ Yes, I love. I love myself, my finger, my emotions and even the mandolin slicer.
God is Love and Love is the greatest healing agent in the universe. God is all there is which means Love is all there is, so this is who I am – Love made manifest.
I now choose to let my thoughts and feelings rest in Love. I let Love be my autopilot, moving me constantly back to center. In the center, I am with what is, always choosing the way to love everything and everyone, including myself, into the highest and best good.
How grateful I am to experience The Divine in so any ways, especially Love. I now release these words into the Mind and Heart of God, knowing they are so, and so it is.