Friday, June 08, 2012

I Have Forgiven Myself

Lately it seems like everything I read has been about revealing and healing our shadows. Globally we've been watching the revealing on the news. Then there are the energies of the eclipse, the 5 planetary line up, etc. all being touted as a movement for personal and planetary revealers of shadows so the Truth can shine forth.

Regardless who's telling us to do this, the idea is a good one. Many of us have secrets hidden away in the back rooms of our minds. Those secrets are taking up space that could be filled with Light! Those secrets are keeping us thinking we're not enough, that we're separate from the Truth of our being - which is Divine.

For years I've taught and talked about forgiveness. I have forgiven so many people ... lately I realized that since I am the creator of my reality, the only one I really had to forgive was myself. So I took a lot of deep breaths and did a seven day self-forgiveness process. The first couple of days were hard. I kept remembering things I hadn't thought about in years. I was definitely cleaning those back rooms of my mind, and I was getting depressed at the amount of work I had to do! I felt like slamming the doors and abandoning the process.

However, I knew it would be beneficial. Regardless of whether the doors were slammed shut or not, the stuff was still there - and actively running in my memory banks, which meant they popped out as behaviors and feelings I didn't necessarily like. I recommitted to the self-forgiveness process. I didn't want to quit. I prayed to make it easier.

I love the way the Universe shows up for me! I read my astrological sign in a newsletter from Rob Brezney:

"Don't pretend you can't see the darkness. Admit to its presence. Accept its reality. And then, dear Cancerian, walk nonchalantly away from it, refusing to fight it or be afraid of it. In other words, face up to the difficulty without becoming all tangled up in it. Gaze into the abyss so as to educate yourself about its nature, but don't get stuck there or become entranced by its supposedly hypnotic power. I think you'll be amazed at how much safety and security you can generate for yourself simply by being an objective, poised observer free of melodramatic reactions."

I LIKE this -- I don't have to do anything about the shadow -- I don't have to dwell in the yucky feelings the memories bring up. Just acknowledge them and walk away!! Dr. Holmes, author of the Science of Mind and founder of what is now called Centers for Spiritual Living, basically said the same thing: Acknowledge what you've created and change your mind.

The rest of my process was much easier. I realized I'm not the same person who stored away that stuff in the back rooms. The rooms are now cleaned, the windows are washed and they are filled with Light. I FEEL lighter - and this is a good thing!


There is one Life - God's. There is one mind - God's. There is one heart - God's. Since God is absolutely all there is, this one Life is my life. This one mind is the mind I am using, and this one heart is where I live.
How grateful I am to know this as I allow myself to release the shadows I had buried deep within me. As I acknowledge them, I realize I am no longer affected by them in any way. I let them go. I am free - the Truth has set me free!  I have forgiven myself - giving my Higher Self more room to live in, through and as me.

I am standing in Divine Light, letting it fill me up and spill out into my world. I celebrate my conscious awareness of my Divinity. God and I are one.

I release these words, knowing they are so and so it is.