Saturday, July 14, 2012

Why Am I Putting Off My Good?

I've been talking to a man from Balboa Press, which is the self-publishing division of Hay House. He calls me once a month to see how I'm doing on my book. Every month I tell him, "Well.... all I've got to do is collate the articles...."
The other day, we chatted for a moment, and then he said, "Did you know that you first contacted us 508 days ago?" For a moment I couldn't breathe. "508 days?" I thought "That's almost a year and a half! I could be holding a book, or even two books, in my hands right now!" I wanted to cry.
After I got off the phone, I asked myself "Why am I putting off my good? What is it that's keeping me from completing this project?" I know that when I finally do it, the other books won't seem so hard, and I will finally allow myself to do what I've always loved to do, and get paid for it!
The only answer that came to me is FEAR. What am I afraid of? Rejection? I can't be rejected by a publisher when I'm self-publishing! Except, oh dear, that means I've been rejecting myself.
Well, before I got off the phone with the salesman, I made a commitment to myself. It's time. For my birthday on the 19th, I'm choosing to stop putting off my good. He's calling me around August 1st, and that day I'm going to sign the contract for the self-publishing package whether I'm finished collating or not.
This means in the next two weeks, I get to do 3 things:
1. Decide which book to publish first --- Prosperity 101 (based on my 6 different "Thank God We're Rich Campaigns") or the 365 daily reader based on my ("Friday Messages" that I've been writing for 10 years! .. I wonder what a good name would be)
2. Manifest the $1500 for the package
3. Collate the chapters
Part of me feels relieved, and the other part feels overwhelmed. However, now that I've made the decision, I am no longer afraid.
FEAR really is False Evidence Appearing Real. What good have You been putting off? Join me in going for it! Let's use the following affirmative prayer to move beyond our fears and see our greater good manifest in, through and as us now!
I acknowledge that there is a Powerful Presence within me desiring to express Itself through me. It is the One Life of God - infinitely intelligent and unconditionally loving. It is impelling me to open up to It greater than I've ever done before. It already knows Itself as a bigger idea of me. I now let go of my littleness and let the Spirit flow.
I stop blocking Divine Expression with my self-imposed excuses. I now open my mind and my heart to do the work I am meant to do. I let Divine Inspiration flow though me with ease and grace. I celebrate my conscious awareness that everything needed for the fulfillment of this Divine Desire is already at hand. I trust the Universe to guide me and support me in every way.
How grateful I am to have made the decision to play a bigger game in the realms of infinite potentiality. How grateful I am to know that God's got my back. I now release these words into the Law of Mind, knowing they are so, and so it is.