Feel!

A few weeks ago I saw the movie “The Giver.” I immediately got the book out of the library, surprised to discover it was a young adult novel. The book was much simpler than the movie and both gave me so much to think about.

In the movie, everyone lives in sameness – same clothes, same rituals, same restrictions in language.  People are ‘assigned’ their children and children are ‘assigned’ their future.  Everyone is polite, no one asks questions, no one wants to rock the boat.  Everyone follows the rules – even the weather!

A young man is assigned to be a ‘Receiver.’ The rules are changed a bit for him.  He can ask “The Giver” anything he wants, but he can’t tell anyone anything.  The Giver is training him to be a library of memories.  With those memories, the young man discovers feelings - joy and delight, love and pain, anger and resentment.  As he experiences the feelings, he starts to have pain and pleasure, and begins to see colors. Everything has changed.  The old way of living no longer makes sense.

This is such a metaphor for the current collective consciousness.  We've been encouraged to live in sameness, to be like everyone else – in dress, possessions, thoughts and actions.  We were told that being like others would make us safe.  For awhile we felt that way.  In past years though, so many systems we felt were ‘safe’ have failed.  Some of us are starting to see the true colors.  Perhaps this is the reason so many of us are called “Light Bearers.”  We’re revealing the Light and allowing the true colors to be revealed.   Ways of life are changing and at the same time the old ways are fighting for us to stay the same. 

Part of this break-through feels like emotional breakdown. Sometimes it is easier to ignore our feelings because we think it will hurt too much.  The ignoring takes a lot of energy, more energy than it would if we allowed the feelings to be revealed and expressed. What if we allowed ourselves to realize that our feelings are important, that they deserve to be expressed?   I know you have felt the release of inner pressure with a good cry.   It doesn’t feel good while we’re doing it, but when we’re finished, we feel lighter, cleaner, more clear.

This film has the perfect message for us and the times we live in. I think the apathy at the polls, the unwillingness to take a stand for what we believe in, is part of our wanting to be ‘safe.’  We don’t want to stand out.  I’m sure you've heard about the ‘Dumbing of America’ – to me it seems more like the ‘Numbing of America’. 

Benjamin Franklin wrote:  “They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a temporary safety, deserve neither liberty or safety.”   Where are we giving up essential liberties to feel safe?  Whether they be liberties of possession, love, the internet, or our feelings, let’s pay attention – let’s allow ourselves to feel. Let’s be the unique individuals The Divine created us to be, and stand up for The Truth!        

AFFIRMATIVE PRAYER

I acknowledge that there is a powerful Presence within me desiring to express Itself through me.  It is God’s Life, and It always been and will always be living my life as me.

I choose to stop blocking Spirit’s movement through me with my fears.  I let go of thinking something outside of me is blocking me.  I know that since all there is is God, there is nothing to fear.  I open my heart to feel Life in all It’s magnificence.  I open my mind to experience the unique ideas that want to express themselves through me.  I take a stand for freedom, my own and everyone else’s.  I rejoice in our individuality. 

How grateful I am to have the ability to choose to play the game of Life in a bigger way.  This game is being played in the fields of infinite potentiality.  I see and feel the True Colors and it is good.

I release these words into Divine Law, knowing they are now embodied.  And so it is. 

Last Message from Baltimore

My last Friday Message from Baltimore ..

Ok, it’s Saturday – my laptop is set up on a TV tray.  I am surrounded by boxes and paper and bits and pieces that didn’t go on the truck yesterday.  It started out as a sad morning as I found myself making food for 3 cats when I now only have two.   Beautiful Bella is gone.   As I said my final goodbye to Bella, I also got a very clear realization that this was the end of Baltimore.  She came into my life just a few months after I got here, and she left just as I am.  Bella’s passing helped me to cry, not only for her, but for everyone that I already miss.  Her final gift to me was helping me express my sadness for the leaving the life I had created here.

Yet, even in the sadness the sun is shining, and cool air is coming through the screen door.  Romy is playing in the packing paper pile making me laugh. My coffee tastes very good. The whirl-a-wind of sorting, packing, cleaning, making arrangements for my new life is winding down.  A lot of love has been shared in the past couple of weeks, and I’ve gotten awesome confirmations that I’ve made a difference here.

Thirty years ago, my teacher, Rev. Helen Street, and my practitioner classmates were sitting in a restaurant after class.  As usual, our class conversations continued.  Helen was sharing a bit of Emma Curtis Hopkins’ teaching that said something about our true name being emblazoned across our foreheads. She asked us what ours was. The first word that popped into my mind was TRUST.  I remember her clapping, laughing and saying she could see it.

At a deeper level ‘trusting’ means surrendering.  I had to let go of my stories, feelings, possessions, people, and my ideas of how I believed life should be. 

I decided to create a new ‘word’ for this time period.  I chose Beloved.  OMG!   What an amazing experience I’ve had. From getting a part time job and learning to live with a very small income, flying across the country to interview with the Eureka Center, finding out that my birth mother loved me which changed everything I thought I knew about my birth story … and that she had lived in Eureka when I was with her, to getting accepted as the new pastor of the Eureka Center and realizing I was making plans to go home!  WOW!  What an amazing adventure!  And it’s not over yet!

All because, in the face of seeming challenges, I Trusted and moved into the consciousness of The Beloved.  The past seven months have proven that the Science of Mind really works and taken me even further into the Religion of the Heart. I am so grateful!

Where in your life do you need to Trust more?   Just do it – you’ll be amazed.   

I’m leaving Monday to drive across country with my cats.  If you’ve felt inspired by my messages and would like to add to my Travel Fund, please use my PayPal account – revangelica@gmail.com.   My car, cats and I thank you!

AFFIRMATIVE PRAYER

I open my heart and my mind to trust the Infinite Intelligence that is this universe.  This Infinite Intelligence is in the Great Heart and so am I.  We are all part of the One.

I now declare I have the consciousness of Trusting.  I let go of my stories of fear, lack and limitation, in my physical being, my way of working in the world, my relationships and my finances.  The Universe already knows what I desire – so I get out of Loves way and let it do Its work.  I surrender to my greater good.

I celebrate  - I am grateful for everything.  I release these words knowing they are so, and so it is.

A Love Story

In May, I participated in Panache DeSai’s 33 day program online with his new book - “Discovering Your Soul Signature.”  One thing about doing spiritual work, anything that needs to be released comes up.  In my case, deep childhood emotional wounds of rejection and abandonment came to the surface once again.

Those feelings started with being adopted at 2 1/2. My new Mother told me over and over again as I was growing up that I wasn't wanted, that my birth mother had rejected me from the day I was born, and was always trying to find a way to get rid of me.  Then on a recent Saturday afternoon I got a big envelope in the mail from my brother. He had found something in my late Father’s things he thought I might want. He sent me the file from my adoption. 

In the file were various legal briefs and as I turned the pages I discovered three letters from my birth mother to my new father. She wrote about her hesitation to sign the adoption papers, (It took her 9 months) how hard it was to let go, and her love of me in each one of them.  She wrote that even though her heart was breaking, she believed the adoption would be for the best.   
My first thought was "I've been living a lie all these years!"   I HAD been wanted and loved.  I wasn’t rejected or abandoned!

Something shifted at the very core of my being. I haven't totally groked what's happened, nor can I explain it, but I know it's good.  I feel lighter in many ways.

I also realized once again, that life really is a series of stories. We begin writing them as little children based on what others say and how we feel about it. We really are the writer, the actor, the director and the producers of our reality.  As we write, the Universe constantly rearranges Itself to fit our picture of reality.  We get to live our original stories over and over again. In fact we add to those stories daily. 

I started to think about the stories I am telling myself now.  Are they positive and uplifting?  Are they stories of love and wonder and delight in life?  They’d better be! These stories are creating my future.   

How about you?  Your stories are creating your future as well.  If you want to know what your stories are, look around and listen to your self talk.  That ongoing dialogue and its accompanying feelings are a vibration that sets the Law of Attraction in action. As the writer, the director, the actor, and the producer, you have a built in rewrite option that can be used at any time. 

Each of our stories is adding to the collective consciousness of humanity.  Our rewrite option is so important now.  Thank God we’re such creative beings!   Join me in writing the greatest Love Story ever.

AFFIRMATIVE PRAYER

God is Love.  God being omnipresent means Love is absolutely everywhere, therefore. Love is what I am made of and who I am. As I know this for myself, I know it for everyone.  There is nothing but Love.

I am open to feeling all of my feelings and letting them move through me with ease and grace. I am open to the mysteries and wonder of our world. I have turned the page and started a new chapter. I honor my old stories and joyfully write new ones that reflect the beauty and Love of all Life.

With a light heart, a clear head and a pure heart, I gratefully release these words to Divine Law, knowing they have been lovingly embodied and have uplifted my whole being!    And so it is.

Laugh at Yourself

I had been trying to listen to SLRN (Spiritual Living Radio Network) and was getting very frustrated with my laptop -- suddenly the sound wouldn't work!  Even though it was turned all the way up, I could only hear a faint bit.  I checked Windows help, Mozilla help and Sony VAIO help, and nothing they suggested worked, so figured I'd have to take it to the computer repair shop for a new speaker.  I started thinking anxiously about time and money.   I shut the computer off and went out to rake up magnolia blossoms.  How delightful it was to be outside.  When I came back I clicked on a video in FB, having forgotten about the sound problem.  Again I could only hear a faint sound.  I had read in the VAIO manual that the speaker was on the right side so I leaned over to try to hear it better.  To my surprise the sound was coming from my earphones!   I unplugged them and almost got blasted out of my chair!   I felt foolish for not noticing that before! 

I had purchased the books for my book circle and not everyone was at the next meeting  to pick up their books.  I set them aside so they could pick them up at the next meeting.  That week came, and still one person hadn’t gotten their book.  The next week they arrived happy to pick it up, but I couldn’t find it.  I looked all over my table, which is also my desk, and it was gone.  I thought someone might have picked it up by accident, and asked everyone to check at home.  How foolish I felt the other day when I took some papers off my printer to use it, and discovered the ‘missing’ book.

If these things had happened before I found the Science of Mind, I might have done an “I’m so foolish” spiral, and been embarrassed.  Because of my age, I might have gone into a story about “Oh no! my mind is going!”  Instead, I felt foolish for a moment and then started laughing. How creative I was to make up the stories I did about the two experiences!   How grateful I am both were both resolved easily. 

I did ask myself:  “What else am I missing?  What else have I made up a story about, and then accepted that story as real?”   How about you?

AFFIRMATIVE PRAYER

The Spirit within me is all knowing and unconditionally loving.  It is everywhere present.  It fills me with a conscious awareness of my place in this world.

I now declare that it is my intention to pay more attention.  I am now more consciously aware of not only my surroundings, but the stories I am telling myself about them.   I remember the Truth – all there is, is God.  God is not foolish.  God cannot get lost.  God is the energy of Love.  I choose to experience and express even more Love than I ever have before.  This is my new story and it is a good one!

Gratefully I release these words into the Law of Mind, knowing they have been easily embodied. 

And so it is.

Changes .....

My life changed drastically this winter.  I was working and loving what I was doing, and the next moment wasn’t working and feeling a deep sense of loss.  A friend’s sister had written a blog titled “Nothing Prepared Me for This.”   And that’s the Truth.  Nothing in my life prepared me for what I was experiencing.  I felt like I was walking through a thick fog, doing what was in front of me to do, stranded alone except for a couple of friends, (thank God for them!)  The ease and joy of life was gone.  I was full of self- doubt about my abilities and unsure as to whether my vocation was still viable.  I didn’t know what I would do.  I felt lost, abandoned, even shunned.

I allowed myself to really feel the confusion, disappointment and sadness.  At the same time I was feeling grateful to have this teaching as my foundation.  I knew how to take responsibility for my experience.  Not responsibility for what others said or did, but responsibility for my actions and reactions.  I remembered I could count on Spiritual Law, and trust that powerful, Loving Presence within me.  After a few weeks, I started to feel alive again, and with the coming of Spring, even more so. A part-time job came about quite synchronistically and my pet sitting business started to grow again.   

I started receiving invitations to be a guest speaker at various Centers, and with each opportunity, I again realized my passion is still the ministry.  I have no doubts about my vocation.  I sent out candidating packages to 4 Centers needing a Spiritual Leader. I know the Universe is leading me to the right and perfect place for me and all concerned. 

Sure, there are times I get fearful, like when my bills aren’t being paid so I can pay the rent, but I also know this is temporary.  I KNOW I can trust the Law of Mind to honor my dominant thoughts and feelings, so I stay centered in Peace and Love.  I’ve also realized that living in the “groundlessness of being” as Pema Chrodin calls it, is not a bad place to be! 

No, nothing prepares us for sudden changes, however, maintaining our daily spiritual practices during the good times helps us stay centered and trusting during our challenges.  Everything always works out perfectly, for the highest and best for all!   

AFFIRMATIVE PRAYER

There is that within me that is infinitely intelligent and unconditionally loving.  I know this Presence as God – a Divine Energy that is the Source and substance of all things.  How grateful I am to constantly remember this.

I now declare into the Law of Mind for myself and all else who are experiencing challenges of any kind, that we KNOW we can change our minds right now and effect change.  I declare that Life is providing us with an abundance of trust, self-confidence and inner peace, and we are open to receiving it. We move through our challenges with ease and grace.  We have a deep understanding of their message.  Divine Mind is assisting us in attaining and maintaining the consciousness of the life we desire to live, and it feels good.

I am grateful to facilitate change.  I am grateful to know the Truth of our being.  God in us, as us, is doing Great Work.

I release these words into the Law of Mind, knowing they’ve been embodied and we are living from a Higher Truth   And so it is. 

Rev. Angelica’s Wild Ride.

I saw a picture of a roller coaster the other day and realized that’s what my life has been like lately.  I got on it just before the holidays and the ride’s not over yet.  Not really the pattern I wanted to set for 2014, but we do what’s in front of us, eh?   It’s Rev. Angelica’s Wild Ride.     

Now, I’ve never been a big fan of roller coasters.  I normally avoid them, yet once one gets on, it’s got to be ridden to the finish. 

As usual, I’m working on being in the moment and being observant.  When the ride is climbing up I can breathe –when it’s heading down and accelerating, it’s scary.  I’ve noticed that when I’m afraid it’s because I feel like I’m out of control. 

I know I’m not the only one having this experience.  I decided to look up “fear of roller coasters.”  As I perused the various articles, I came up with these points to help us:

1.       Make sure you’re not thinking that someone else has pressured you into being on this ride – this will only add to the feeling of not being in control.  I know I attracted this ride – maybe I don’t know why I did, but I will.

2.      Remember to breathe. Breathing helps me center myself.    

3.      Let yourself feel the ride.  Some of my feelings have been various types of loss, anger, sadness, and feeling ‘not enough’.  They all come down to fear.  Feel the fear, knowing it’s part of the process and it’s temporary.

4.      During the ride, scream.  It’s important to express your feelings.  Thinking your feelings are negative and covering them by being positive doesn’t make the feelings go away.  It just buries them.    Feelings buried decompose.  Talk to someone or journal.

5.      Outsmart the "scare factor." Remember that the loops and sudden drops are part of the ride and are perfectly safe.  Think of the car you’re sitting in as The Divine.  Remember my fear of the ride heading down and speeding up?  Someone once told me not to look down – to tilt my head back and look up.    In fact, look up and smile!

6.      When you’re in overwhelm, close your eyes.  Go within.  Pray, meditate, chant – do whatever you do to become centered again.   

7.      Sit in the front car – face it, feel it, and the ride will be over quicker!

The musician Sting said:  “Crisis is essential to creativity; it’s what makes you do things you couldn’t do before. Being in a stable situation (might produce)… nicely balanced work – but not the really good stuff. The really good stuff comes from pain, not comfort. Pain is essential. If you have not got pain, then you had better go out and get some.”

With what I’ve written, you might think my life’s been terrible, but it hasn’t.  Most of the time, I am filled with a deep peace.  I'm having fun living in the gap between what I know and what I don't.  I do Know everything is working out for my highest and best good - and it will for you too. God’s got our back. I also Know this:  When things seem like they’ve broken down, the Truth is, they’ve broken through!

AFFIRMATIVE PRAYER

We live in a Field of infinite potentiality. This Field is the Energy of God. It is the Source and substance of all there is.  It is everywhere present.  It is all power.  It is all intelligence.  It resides in and works through us at every moment.  This is the Truth.

Regardless of appearances, regardless of how I feel, I remember this Truth at a deep soul level.  I lean on this Truth.  I know God’s got my back.  This Field I am calling God, is working through my thoughts and feelings, attracting to me that which I am focusing on.  I refuse to dwell in fear.  I continually choose to think on things that are good, things that are pleasing to my mind and heart, things that nourish my soul.

The roller coaster of Life is now a fun and exciting ride, one that will add many wonderful stories to my collection.  God is good.  Life is good.  All is well.

Gratefully I celebrate knowing God in me, as me, is living a wonderful life.   

I release these words into the Law of Mind, feeling them sink deep into my subject mind with ease.   And so it is.